The Unheralded Life

To start off, I'm not opposed to Christianity. Even after deconverting, I have several friends who are Christians and actively follow their faith. For some, being a Christian makes a positive impact in their lives and makes a positive impact to society. If Christianity helps an addict become sober or a criminal to turn away from crime, then there's one less person who could break in my house or crash into me because he's driving drunk. I'm all for that. I was born into the Jewish faith. Both of my parents are Jewish and I have a very Jewish last name. Often, I wish my last name wasn't so obvious, because I just want to blend in as much as I can. I don't like labels, and anyone who sees my last name can label me as such, whatever they think of Jews. Either way, I grew up in a religion that is almost impossible to join. Most Jews are cultural Jews and don't really consider how or why they exist. Because Judaism focuses on living and there is no promise of heav...

I've journaled for many years as a way to blow off steam and possibly find answers. As I've found some satisfaction in ranting, I've not found answers to why I've experienced an unfulfilling life. I guess the reason why I'm blogging is to shed light on what my unfulfilling life looks like and help others who might feel the same way identify what's happening to them. For me, the overall lack of positive outcomes stems from a couple of disabilities I was born with. Although I've never been diagnosed as being on the spectrum, I exhibit a lot of the symptoms. From broken relationships to just not fitting in due to some strange behaviors, it seems logical. I'm not a full on weirdo, but I cannot maintain relationships as I melt down and drive people away. Sure, I have a few friends, a few of them are good friends, but no romantic possibilities. I'm an above average looking guy. I'm 6'2 and in shape. When I want to look good, I do. I'm turning 5...